It seems like summer drives me in this sort of vegetative state: once school is over, I just go home, and it's like I don't know what to do of my days so I just sit around and browse some forums, work occasionally, and hang out with friends when possible. When I'm in summer mode, nothing never is critical: if I'm poor, then I just stay home or borrow, if something needs to be done it can always wait a couple more days, and even my McJob, which I usually get sick off when working over 20 hours a week, now looks like something that just happens. I do nothing at home, go to work, do the stuff I'm asked for 4, 6 ,8 hours, then go back home feeling.... well not feeling anyway specific at all. I just drone through my days, and I don't think about much.
Totally the opposite of when I'm at school, where everything's important. I HAVE TO finish this paper, I HAVE TO get my bike repaired, I HAVE TO update my blog once a week. I end up having sleeping disorders because of all the stuff I think about.
I kinda like summer mode. Very relaxing...
However, after a month and a half in this vegetative state, my parents mentionned something that slapped me right out of it. Next year, I'm in grade 11, and here in Quebec, that means that I have to register for CEGEP. If you're not familiar with CEGEP, it's basically the higher end of senior high, but in a more University-ish kind of way. This ain't high school anymore. You get specialized classes, but you also get funky schedules(courses at 8 PM, days without any courses), and the buildings are built like Universities too: there are many buildings with many wings, and big CEGEPS usually have 5000+ students.
Now don't get me wrong, it ain't the chance that's scaring me: it's the choices I have to make. Do I move out and study in Montreal, do I complete my education here in my home town, do I move out even if I stay here, what college do I attend to, with what institutions do I apply for an educational loan? All those questions have to be answered before registrations, which will be held at the end of winter 2009, which is about 7 months away. In 8-9 months from now, I'll be accepted somewhere, and starting my career specific eduction. In 8-9 months from now I'll be a couple of months into my 17 years of age, and in exactly a year and a week from now, I'll be a CEGEP freshman.
If I were to have it my way, I'd get accepted to work at a Futureshop in Montreal or it's suburbs, and I'd complete my pre-unversity education in some English language CEGEP in Montreal in a tech-related program, where I could avoid the dreaded French mothertoungue exams, to then move on to complete my studies at the UQ's ETS, a reknown engineering school, possibly the best one within my reach. I would then be hunted down by a headhunter who would offer my a 6 figure yearly salary to work as an IT guy in some big business. I would later return to school for some further specialized education, to then become the spokesman for whatever company, earn lots, have a sideline building kickass custom PCs, buy my dream BMW, have a girlfriend to whom I would make many babies, and live happily ever after till the day of my death.
It's a bit early to talk about the stuff after engineering school, but the perspective of moving out to the big city has me browning my shorts. Can you imagine yours truly, fresh out of the womb at 17, barely able to remember to flush the toilet, living with two other young dudes or gals in a 4 room apartment, living off Reese Pieces and Coca Cola trying to hustle up the money to pay the landlord? No more spending all my paychecks on a computer, a new back wheel for my BMX. Beyond this point, it's serious business: heating bills, phone bills, garage bills, parking tickets, work, more work, and less play. My parents want me to stay home and attend the local CEGEP and unversity, which are far from the best. But what do I sacrifice, the quality of my education or the quality of my lifestyle?
In a sense, it's got me hyped, because this is where the real freedom really starts, where I get to study the stuff I want with people sharing my interests, not learning crap with a class half filled with morons. But on the other side of the medal, I know it's gonna be a rough ride.
Scary shit. I guess I just have to think it over until it sounds right.